Pastor's Message

For the Whole Family
June 2004

Nearly every church in America will claim to be a “Friendly Church.” I think that every one of the churches I have visited claim to be a “Friendly Church,” but I often wondered if it would be such a friendly church to me if they didn’t know that I was going to be the guest speaker for the day! On a few occasions I have visited a church, not as a speaker but as an anonymous worshipper, and I was able to leave with virtually nobody saying hello. Is that really a friendly church? Most of the members of that church would still think so, but sometimes the friendship circle is drawn rather small! After worship, members would be busy talking to one another, catching up on events of the past week or just spending time with good friends, but the outsider is outside of the circle and is not part of all the friendly conversation.

This is an extremely important factor in the health of a church. In a recent survey of new church members nationwide, 78% of all new church members said they selected their church based on the friendliness of the people. That means that the visitor sensed the friendliness of the congregation, the visitor was made part of the circle and eventually joined the church.

Sometimes we think that people join a church because of a dynamic pastor, or because of the programs offered by a church. But even in the Crystal Cathedral, only 7% of the new members indicated that they joined because of the pastor – and Bob Schuller can certainly be described as dynamic! Church programs were cited as the reason for joining the church by only 2 – 3% of people and even the Sunday School was only given as the primary reason for joining by 4 – 5% of new members. In this same survey, it was discovered that as many as 90% of new members came to the church and joined because they were invited by a friend or relative.

In their book, “The Master’s Plan for Making Disciples” by Win and Charles Arn, they devote an entire section to the importance of church members inviting others to come and join the church. They base their argument on Scripture, often citing passages in Acts where a person joined the fellowship and brought in their “whole household,” Oikos in the original Greek. But Oikos does not just refer to father, mother and the kids, as we often think of family in our culture. At that time a household often included extended family, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and also slaves, servants, employees, partners and co-workers. In Acts 10 we read about Peter’s visit to the household of Cornelius. Many had gathered in his house and as Peter spoke to them they all received the gift of the Holy Spirit and were baptized. That would be more than just family and relatives, but friends and neighbors would have been invited by Cornelius, and God would have accepted them all. In Acts 16, Lydia “and her household” were baptized and later in the same chapter, the jailer who had been keeping Paul and Silas was baptized, along with his entire household. Other examples can be given, but the point is that many early Christians brought their whole “household” to the Christian faith, and their household included family as well as friends and co-workers.

There is no doubt in my mind that St. Paul's UCC is a very friendly church. I have seen how joyfully visitors and new members are received into our fellowship. Some people excel at welcoming visitors. But have we brought our household to Christ? Have you thought about who is included in your “household?” Let’s carry our enthusiasm for our church out to our household. Let’s be more than a “friendly church,” let’s be a “church friend” to all in our family and wider circle of friends.